In 1993, after eight dismal years of trying to make it in trades, I signed up on the doll and took up the study of philosophy, theatere, juggling, literature and art. I have been on welfare ever since.
Payday Thursday
In 1998, after three years of travel and study, I set out to become a professional clown. To get my meagre fortnightly payment I had to apply for two jobs, so I wrote down the details of people I sent my promotional material too. After a year Centerlink bought me in for an interview.
“There isn’t much work for clowns; you should be looking for work in service stations.” They told me.
“Oh, there’s a crying need for service station attendants, I’ll look for work in service stations then.”
A few weeks later they got me back to see their psychologist who assigned me to an agency to help difficult cases. I was told I would be with them for a few years while they decided wether or not to put me on the pension. During that that I had to do something. I told them about my clown ambitions and that was settled. I no longer had to look for work, instead I reported my progress as a clown every twelve weeks. Eventually it was decided to put me on the pension, I was told I should not give up but treat it as a grant, and that’s what I have done.
On the pension at thirty two
I have been able to get involved in festivals, travel with a small circus and volunteer for a Christian charity. While living and working with the charity I got back to study. Christian Heritage College was launching the Millis Institute which was offering a Batchlor of Liberal Arts; the philosophy and theology degree I had always wanted to do.
There I learned about vocation and the ancient Greek ideal of a life of leisure. In ancient Greece many of the literate class would like to gather and discuss great ponderous things like: why dose smoke leave wood when it burns, how did the smoke get into the wood, where dose the smoke go after its left the wood, how is it the rivers flow into the ocean but the ocean never fills up, what is it to be happy? These were the philosophers, those who loved wisdom. This was a life of leisure; a life dedicated to self improvement. It was not a life exclusive to the rich; Diogenes was a homeless beggar who lived in a wash tub and a much respected philosopher. One day Alexander the Great cam to visit him.
“Stand aside you are blocking my sun.” Diogenes told Alexander
Alexander laughed and responded “If I were not Alexander I would want to be Diogenes.”
Diogenes responded “If I were not Diogenes I too would want to be Diogenes.”
Philosophy was however exclusive to the literate. Above the door to Plato’s Academy was written “Let no one ignorant of geometry enter here.” In modern Australia only a few adults are illiterate and no one has to labour just to survive. The life of a philosopher is there for anyone who wants it.
Vocation is an occupation but it is more than a job or even a career, it is a calling, it is something you were really meant to do, it is a path with heart. It is no one thing for everyone. It might be science, sport, art, politics or academia. I have a friend who’s vocation is to dig holes, he really knows dirt. He told me if he were to win lotto he would buy him self a collection of the best earth moving machines. It need not be one thing for your whole life. When I was in my teens I wanted to travel the world and learn foreign languages, I thought chef would give me that. It didn’t work out, I like cooking, but it was a long way from my vocation. The clown, that felt like a calling, it was certainly a passion. But now, err, it puts food on the table. It is time for something different; it is time for the philosopher, it is time to live life in the pursuit of all that is good beautiful and true.
When I tell people I study philosophy they cock their head to one side, look puzzled and ask “what do you hope to do with that?” I was at a regional art gallery a while back inquiring into an arts grant and told the woman what I was doing. She responded “Oh, my boss studied philosophy, I don’t know what he does with it.” He is the curator of an art gallery and he’s your boss and you don’t know what he’s doing with his philosophy! Well it’s a whole lot more useful than you might think. As a clown I had a lot of fun making people happy, which was cool, but as a philosopher I could really make a difference. There are problems with the treatment of mental health and addictions that require a philosophical approach to fix. With my lived experience of dealing with these things, the skills I have gathered in my life and my education in philosophy I could be in an excellent passion to address these problems.
And will be doing that soon with the impending launch of my first novel; A Fool’s Errand. This is the story of Andrew: A man with a troubled childhood who escaped the madness of an alcoholic home to the local library. His life was turned around by an act of Christian charity; when a believer he met at a free bbq in the park paid his Boy Scout fees. It made him a man fit to survive in the harsh world of homelessness, madness and addiction. It attacks the absurdity of the mental health and addiction system in Australia: it makes the doctors look as crazy as the patients, not even AA escapes its critical eye. His story deals with a dark subject in a bright humours light. It is a psycho-spiritual quest with a happy ending and a few laughs.
I am starting to feel the aches of getting old. I remember an elderly martial artist saying “There comes a point in your life when you have to start rubbing things.” A doctor once told me “You super fit type, you like to think you’re invincible, then the injuries start coming in.” I am getting old and I think it is time to start putting the clown behind me and work on the more leasurely peruset of drawing and painting. Pen, pencil and water colour on paper; cheep and easy to stow away. I have plenty of time to become a brilliant artist.
Clown Artist Philosopher
There is wisdom behind the mask of folly
Clown Artist Philosopher 